


Victory: Escape

by blackbirdofasgard



Series: Victory [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Thor: The Dark World, Canon-Typical Violence, Loki is still kind of an ass, Other, Slow Burn, Some Fluff, Some angst, Strong Language, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, but less than before, but not excessively, but there's tolerance at least, complicated relationship, ending with angst, enemies to uhhhh not enemies?, it's mostly just the lucky couple, non-consensual road trip, not exactly friends, only very brief appearances from those last three, there's your warning, this story is alternating moments of fluff and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdofasgard/pseuds/blackbirdofasgard
Summary: Sequel to Victory. After narrowly escaping a death sentence on Asgard, Loki picks up the Reader to join him on the run from the law. He mistakenly thought this was what you wanted. It's not even remotely close to what you wanted....Is it?
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Victory [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751533
Comments: 13
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are in part two already! This is by far the longest story out of the trilogy that is the Victory series (even though it's still not super long). Like it says in the description, this is a sequel, so if you haven't read the first part, I would recommend it. I suppose this could technically be read by itself, but there are quite a few callbacks that might be confusing without having read the first part.
> 
> Much like the first part, this was originally written as a self-insert that I'm adapting into a Loki/Reader story, and it's already complete. I should be able to post a new chapter every few days, but I make no promises, as my place of work has asked me to return to working full-time, albeit from home. I'll do my best to update regularly, though!
> 
> Now, without further ado, I present the Escape. I hope you guys are ready for an emotional roller coaster.

Life was returning to normal for you. After months free of Loki's mind control, and after visiting him for some closure, you were finally able to think of him less and less with each passing day. People were starting to speak to you again, seeing as you didn't seem to be cursed, or doomed to be spirited away. Not all of the people speaking with you were just parties interested in hearing your side of the War of New York, either. Finally, you noted with some relief, you were starting to phase out of the attention of the reporters and news anchors. You'd wanted to be left alone, and for the most part, you had been. The only people you'd told your story to were your friends and family, whom you'd been quick to reconnect with, glad to be alive. You were finally starting to smile again.

The only part you left out of your recollection of events was the way Loki had made you feel. The idea that you might think of him as anything more than a heartless, murdering tyrant. That secret you would take to your grave. Nobody would ever know. And nobody would ever need to know. Loki was certainly dead by now, put to death, as per his sentence. You had accepted it. Maybe one day you would even forget him entirely. But for now, you worked, laughed, went out with friends, and lived your life just as you'd remembered it before Loki.

Rounding the block to your apartment building, you returned home after a day of work, a subtle spring in your step. It had been a good day. There had been donuts when you'd arrived in the morning, your work for the day had been enjoyable, and then to top it all off, everybody had been given a surprise bonus. Business was booming and life was looking up. You took the stairs two at a time as you climbed up to your fifth floor apartment, idly daydreaming about what you planned to spend your bonus on. You thought probably books. You smiled, thinking about a series you'd wanted to buy for a while. Or maybe you'd just visit a mall and see what you found.

Reaching your door, you unlocked it with your key, stepped inside, and closed the door behind you. You were about to flip the lights on when suddenly, you were restrained from behind. A hand was clamped around your mouth, and an arm was keeping your own arms locked at your sides in a strong grip. And then, you heard his voice murmur in your ear.

"Don't scream."

You were screaming internally already. You knew that voice. You knew it all too well. Your eyes wide and your heart pounding faster, you looked up. Sure enough, Loki had returned.

No! No, no, no, no, no! How could he be here right now?! He was supposed to be dead!

You were very aware of your heart pounding hard against your ribcage, reminding you of the first time you'd been brought to him in Stark Tower. Your fearful heartbeat was hard to forget. But you'd seen him since then. Why were you so scared now? It _had_ been a long time... And then it hit you. This was the first time since then that you were seeing him without the aid of mind control, alone. And unrestrained. There was nobody and nothing to protect you.

Quietly, beneath your panic, a small voice reminded you that you'd lived with him for a month in such a way, and nothing bad had happened. You ignored the small voice. You had thought it was gone, but apparently, part of you was still on his side.

Loki spoke again then in hushed tones, returning you to the present. "I've come to take you with me so we can be together," he said, "Now, if I let you go, will you stay quiet?"

You thought fast, your eyes wide. You had a plan, but it was crazy. You could end up killed. And yet, you were at Loki's mercy anyway. What did you have to lose? Holding eye contact with him, you nodded.

Slowly, Loki released his grip on you, keeping his hands in front of him. But as soon as you could move, you leapt for the door. You got it open and shouted at the top of your lungs, "Help! Help m-"

Just like that, you were encased in Loki's arms again, except this time, he didn't just restrain you in place. When you looked around yourself, still fruitlessly screaming for help, you didn't see your apartment around you. The two of you were now outside, it was daylight, and there didn't seem to be a skyscraper in sight. In fact, you seemed to be in a forest clearing, a brook babbling somewhere nearby and strange birdsong emitting from the treetops occasionally.

"That wasn't a smart move," Loki spat crossly, letting you go again.

You scrambled away from him, but didn't go far. As frightening as Loki was, that wouldn't be smart of you either. You had no idea where you were, or how far it was to the nearest city.

Although you were still trying to wrap your mind around having just teleported for the first time, your anger and frustration at Loki took precedence, and pushed your temper past the breaking point. Glaring at him incredulously, you demanded, "Take me back right now!"

"No," Loki retorted simply.

"What do you mean, 'no'?!" you screamed at him, "I left my apartment door open for anyone in New York City to get in!"

Loki shrugged, his expression cool. "That's not my fault," he stated.

"Uh, yeah, it kinda is!" you shot back, "If I hadn't found a mass murderer lurking in my home, I wouldn't have found it necessary to call for help. And I didn't ask you to kidnap me!" you added as the realization of the situation dawned on you.

"You're the one who came to me and kissed me," Loki protested, "What am I supposed to take from that?"

"That was when, for one thing, you were locked up and restrained, and you were about to die!" you protested, "What are you even doing here?! Alive? You're supposed to be dead-!" You cut yourself off as the look on Loki's face grew sour. A bit of guilt from the small voice wormed its way through your anger. Only too late did you realize how hurtful the words coming from your mouth were. Who told a person right to their face that they ought to be dead? Even if that person did happen to be a guy who had destroyed half of New York in an attempt to rule the world?

You shook your head, determined to start over. "Look, just take me back," you pleaded, "I swear I won't tell anyone you're free, and we'll call it even. What do you even want from me?"

Loki's expression had returned to being cool and aloof, clearly showing that he felt he was above arguing; that he was going to get his way no matter what. "I want you," he stated in the face of your disbelief, "I came to get you, and now I have you. I'm not taking you back."

Your anger flared again, burning up your previous smidgen of guilt. "You can't do that!" you burst out, stomping back across the space between you, trying to be intimidating, "I have a life to get back to! Work, friends, family!" You reached him and stood shouting into his face. "You can't just take me away from all that on your whim alone! I don't want-"

Before you could speak another word, Loki reached out and took you in his arms, covering your protests with a kiss.

When you, having been stunned, returned to yourself, you found that you weren't resisting, nor did you want to. In fact, you were pulling him closer, your hand in his hair in a vain attempt to get him to kiss you harder.

You'd worked hard to forget how the kiss in his cell had felt: the assurance deep in your heart that the two of you were just right for each other. The memory had never fully left you. That kiss had been nothing compared to this one. Then, Loki hadn't had his hands free to tug at your hips or cup your face. Then had felt like the end, like a goodbye, while now felt like just the beginning of something new.

In the moment of passion, everything bad Loki had done to the Earth flew out of your mind to be replaced by everything good he'd ever done for you. The only thing you feared now was the moment when this kiss would end.

But, of course, it had to end. When Loki's lips left yours, your mind was hurled into turmoil, staring up into his eyes conflictedly as the two of you panted for breath in the ringing silence.

Loki was the first to move, lowering his arms and straightening up, though he didn't back away or break eye contact. "Look me in the eyes," he said seriously, "and tell me you don't want me, too."

You swallowed. "I... don't..." you started, but you couldn't finish. Loki's eyes saw right through your feeble attempt. Looking away, down to your fidgeting hands, you floundered, trying to sort out your feelings and make sense of all of this. Everything you'd carefully hidden away deep inside yourself was resurfacing. Damn him! "I-I mean, just look at what you've done," you stammered, turning worriedly on the spot to let out some nervous energy, "It's not- I- It's what you've done, not you yourself. If- if you hadn't- God, if you were just _better_ -"

Tears were beginning to form in your eyes from your confliction, and the memory of everything Loki had already put you through, knowing that you'd been pulled into it once again against your will. Loki interrupted you, placing his hand to your cheek. Tilting your head up to force you to meet his gaze, he repeated, "I said, look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me."

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. A tear escaped your eye. Narrowing his eyes, Loki surmised quietly, "You can't, can you?"

He was right. As you accepted this truth, you let yourself break down at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for Loki dragging you back into this shit again! I promise Reader does more than just cry in this series, but there's a lot of confliction they're trying to work through.
> 
> Once again, I beg your indulgence to let me give Loki powers he probably doesn't actually possess in the movies. I don't think he has the power to teleport between realms without the aid of his secret passages or the Tesseract, but humor me for the sake of this fic.
> 
> On the other hand, I didn't explain how he escaped (and it's probably better that I leave it unexplained because hell if I know how he did it), so maybe he does have some blue, cubic secret stashed away in his magic pocket. ;)


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your aimless journey with Loki begins. You're not exactly happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this series, it's not made super obvious what gender the reader is. The only thing that comes up occasionally is the reader being referred to as Loki's queen, like in this chapter. The only reason reader is referred to like that is because, as I've mentioned, I originally wrote this as a self-insert and I identify as female. However, please feel free to mentally ignore that, or substitute a different word if you like. I want this story to be accessible to anyone who wants to read it.
> 
> Enjoy!

"You're going to have to speak to me at some point."

Pointedly, you ignored Loki, your arms crossed. At the moment, you were following him through the forest. You weren't sure where you were heading, but you did know that staying with him was your best bet. You remembered enough of your environmental studies from high school to be able to discern that the trees around you weren't of Earth. Loki had taken you away from your entire planet. Which meant that he was now, unfortunately, your tour guide. The thought did not brighten your mood.

"I'd like to talk to you about all this, but you'll have to contribute part of the conversation," Loki tried again.

You scowled. He could talk if he wanted to. You weren't going to stop him. But if he wanted to get any kind of response from you, he'd have to include the words, 'I'm going to return you to Earth'. Preferably in that order.

But then, your small, irritating voice asked you if that's really what you wanted. You knew the answer was way more complicated than a simple yes or no. It's what you had wanted at first. Then Loki'd had to go and remind you that you loved him. That asshole.

"I'm sure you have questions," Loki prompted, making a valiant attempt at getting you to talk.

_Yeah, I've got a few questions_ , you thought bitterly, your expression growing darker, _Who the hell do you think you are? Why did you have to come along and ruin my life? Also, would you kindly take a flying leap off that cliff over there? Okay, thanks._ Idly, you wondered if jumping off a cliff would actually kill Loki, or if it would just make following him to the bottom a whole lot harder for you.

Between each of his statements, Loki waited a few moments, hoping you would respond to him. His hope was in vain. You didn't seem like you would be speaking any time soon. Getting frustrated, he mused, his voice sharper than usual, "I suppose I could resort to reading your mind again, to get the responses I want."

"Fuck you," you spat, breaking your silence.

"Well, that's a start," Loki muttered with a small measure of satisfaction.

"And further," you went on, now that you had started, "even if you were to read my mind, you would not like or want to hear any of the things I'm silently telling you."

"I doubt it," Loki shot back, "Anything would be better than this unceasing silence. You haven't deterred me at all."

"I hate you," you muttered under your breath, going back to glaring at rocks and trees you passed.

"You and I both know that's a lie," Loki retorted.

It may have been a lie, but it was true that you hated that it was a lie.

~~~~

By nightfall when the two of you made camp, you had given up on your silent treatment. For one thing, it was a lot easier to ignore Loki while you were distracted by the walk and were focusing on not tripping. But once your mind had time to settle and wander, you had to admit that you did have more than a few questions. Not that you were going to tell Loki that he had been right.

Your silence was initially broken when the two of you stopped in another clearing of the forest which must have been miles from the original one Loki'd teleported you into. Looking down at you, Loki announced, "We'll stop here for the night."

And the first incredulous question out of your mouth was, "Out in the open? And we've got to _sleep_ out here?!"

Loki raised a brow. "I'm an escaped convict. What part of being on the run made you think there would be luxurious palaces?" he questioned.

"Oh, right, sorry," you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm, "I always daydream about being on the run from the law. I must have overlooked that little detail."

For a moment, Loki sized you up. Then, he commented, "An odd thing to daydream about."

You were going to scream. That was it. He'd done it. Your last nerve had been shot. Loki was ignoring your sarcasm on purpose, damn him to hell! You could even see his lips twitching at the corners. Fuming for a moment, you somehow held in the scream dying to burst out of your chest. Instead, you marched off into the clearing, grumbling, "Oh my god, you are the WORST." With that, you sat down hard with your back to a tree and leaned back against it, crossing your arms.

While you were busy brooding sulkily against your tree, Loki was able to catch some fish for dinner from the nearby river. You contributed no help whatsoever, because after all, you didn't owe him anything. Loki had dragged you into this mess. As far as you were concerned, it was his job to take care of you now.

By the time Loki returned to the clearing and started to clear a patch and build a fire, your anger had started to cool off a little. Watching him at work, you really took in his appearance for the first time. He was still dressed in his prison clothes, the golden finery and armor from New York gone. His hair, too, was different: less tame and more unkempt. Overall, he appeared much less intimidating than you remembered and much more casual. It might have even been endearing if not for the current circumstances.

As you watched him absentmindedly, he finished stacking the wood for a campfire. With a snap of his fingers, fire came to his hand, and he held it to the wood until it caught. Looking up, he caught you watching him and a smirk came to his lips.

Snapping yourself out of your daze, you looked away quickly, renewing your glare, but not before feeling your heart lurch in your chest. You felt your cheeks heat a little, thinking of his smile. You thought back to New York, trying to remember if you'd seen him smile then. No matter how hard you racked your brain, you didn't think you had.

Your frown lightened, less angry and more thoughtful. That couldn't be right. Loki had gotten everything he'd wanted then: a planet to rule and a queen by his side. Why now, when he was on the run, would you just see him smile for the first time? You must have been mistaken. The scepter had messed with your memories, or you'd just forgotten.

"Here." Loki's voice broke into your thoughts. While you had been busy pondering him, he'd prepared the fish, roasting them on sticks over the fire. He now held one out to you, still skewered on its stick.

Eyeing it up, you paused, wishing for proper dinnerware, and a proper meal for that matter. But your stomach was rumbling loudly at you, and you knew you needed to eat whenever, and whatever, possible. At length, you accepted the fish, again without thanks.

Loki retreated to the fire to get a fish for himself, and sat down without comment. After a moment's deliberation, you moved closer to the fire as well. It wasn't cold outside, but it had gotten dark. Also, while you'd been brooding, your questions had started to pester you, so you grudgingly acknowledged that you had to talk to Loki. Although, you'd decided against addressing a few questions just yet. Your mind was still wrapping around the situation. You figured one mental upheaval at a time. For now, you'd just keep your questions simple.

Though Loki raised an eyebrow at you settling down closer to him and the fire, he gave no comment, busy taking a large bite of his fish. You followed suit, though the bite you took was significantly smaller and accompanied by pulling a face at the strange taste. Still, you couldn't complain about food.

After forcing a few more bites down your throat, you turned your eyes to Loki and asked, "Where are we?"

Between bites of his own fish, Loki answered simply, "Alfheim."

You frowned and racked your brain. Sure enough, you'd never heard of any place called 'Alfheim' on Earth, further confirming your suspicions that you were no longer on planet Earth. Strangely, the thought didn't send you into a panic. You only felt oddly detached about it. Nevertheless, you did want to know more about where you actually were, rather than where you weren't. "Which is..?" you pressed.

"One of the Nine Realms," Loki provided in another stunningly uninformative answer as he took an unconcerned bite of fish.

A flicker of irritation crossed your face as you tried to stare him down. "Could you possibly be any more vague?" you asked scathingly.

"I could, if you really want," Loki replied, meeting your eyes with a mischievous smirk.

Your face sank into a hateful glare at once. You ripped your eyes away from him to instead focus on taking a vicious bite of your fish. _Fine_ , you thought in a mental grumble, _If he doesn't want to tell me anything, then he can have my silence._

Pointedly ignoring him now, you heard Loki release an impatient sigh, as if you were the unreasonable one. "Alfheim is home to the light elves," he began giving a proper explanation, and you started paying attention. "A peaceful realm, for the most part. It keeps a temperate climate: good for being outside at all times, as we will be for the foreseeable future."

At the reminder, you grimaced.

Ignoring your look of displeasure, Loki stubbornly pressed on. "It is also one of the loveliest realms on Yggdrasil, which I hope you will come to appreciate."

"Any chance of you being a wanted criminal here?" you asked, perking up hopefully, "Like, is there a warrant out for your arrest?"

Loki threw you a look of reproval. "I don't know, and we are not going anywhere near any settlements," he said decisively.

Deflating, you pouted. "Damn," you cursed under your breath, taking a bite of fish. It didn't make you feel much better.

Despite your lack of enthusiasm, Loki proceeded to tell you a bit more about Alfheim: the animals that were native to it, and the landmarks you may see on your travels. "You mentioned there being nine realms," you interrupted eventually, "What's that about?"

"What do you mean 'what's that about'?" Loki asked in turn, frowning at you like you should already know, "There are nine realms under Asgard's watch, and Alfheim is one of them. Midgard, where you're from, is another one."

Finishing off all you could stomach of your fish, you frowned at him. "I'm from _Earth_ ," you stated confidently. That much you were sure of.

"Midgard," Loki corrected with a nod.

Wearily, you stared at him in silence for a few moments. You had only understood about half of the words in his explanation about the 'Nine Realms', not to mention he hadn't really explained anything. You weren't so sure you even wanted to know anymore. In exasperation, you demanded instead, "Who are you?"

Loki looked up from picking every scrap of fish meat from the bones. "Pardon? You know who I am," he responded nonchalantly.

"No, I don't," you retorted, growing ever more frustrated with him, "I don't know a damn thing about you other than that you tried to take over the Earth!"

"You know my name is Loki," he pointed out with a snide smirk.

You swore that you saw red, about two seconds away from throwing your stick and the remains of your fish at him. You did end up throwing it, but had just enough self-control to not aim it at him. "Would you be serious?!" you raged, "I'm out in the middle of nowhere with a man I only know as a murderer, and-"

"I'm not a murderer," Loki cut in harshly, tossing his own stick onto the fire with a crackle.

"Then what are you?" you repeated your question, close to tears with frustration.

Loki frowned back at you, consternated, all good humor gone from his face and body language. Even if he was sending off silent warning signs, you glared him down, waiting to hear what he had to say for himself. His eyes never left yours, and you saw a certain kind of hardness in them. Something... conflicted, too. Contemplative. Like he wasn't sure of the answer himself.

For a moment, a twinge in your heart gave you pause. Loki seemed so lost. You almost considered relenting; giving him a break. _He's hurting_ , your small, quiet voice told you pityingly.

You quickly quashed that emotion. Loki wasn't sure who he was? He needed to find himself? Fine. But he didn't have to drag you along on his journey of self-discovery.

You'd been staring each other down in silence for long enough. It had become clear that Loki would not be giving you an answer any time soon, and you decided that you'd had enough. Fueled by impatience and anger, you rose to your feet. "Forget this," you spat, starting to stalk off away from the clearing, the fire, and Loki. Off into the unknown. Not exactly the smartest idea, but you were already sick of Loki's bullshit.

However, before you had stomped more than a few steps, a hand was gripping your upper arm hard, restricting your movement.

Whirling around, your rage persisted. "What?!" you screamed defiantly, unsuccessfully trying to wrench your arm free of Loki's tight grasp. The light of the fire danced across your face and in your eyes. You felt the heat of it, of your indignation, flowing hot in your veins.

With his back to the fire, on the other hand, Loki's face was in cold shadow. The sky had gotten dark while the two of you ate, and you could barely make out his expression now. "You won't last a day alone," he stated, his voice cool and even.

"Why?" you shot back, flaring again, "Because I'm a puny mortal?"

"Because you don't know this realm," Loki replied, reflecting your earlier thoughts, proving him to be the unlikely voice of reason.

You cooled for a moment as your own thoughts echoed out of Loki's mouth. You had to admit to yourself that his reasoning actually was sound. His voice when he'd said you wouldn't last a day hadn't been insulting or venomous, only logical. Still, the logical moment didn't last long in your stubborn mind. "I don't care," you threw back, "Let go of me."

"You may not care, but I do," Loki told you firmly in return, only tightening his hand around your arm.

There was nothing intently sinister in the action, but your inability to get away was disheartening. Loki's face was still in shadow, but you now saw him plainly enough. He wouldn't let you go no matter what you wanted. This was what it would mean for him to care about you.

Losing your fire, all the fight left you to be replaced with resignation. You slumped in defeat.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You receive a rude awakening after what you think is a dream.

That night, your dreams (once you finally drifted off) were expectedly conflicted, matching your waking mind. Though you didn't consciously remember any of the dreams, you felt the lingering effects from them playing in your mind.

Early in the night, you felt wary and jumpy, an unsettling feeling gnawing in your stomach. There was the feeling of being watched, of being hunted. You felt like you needed to look over your shoulder constantly.

At least, until later in the night.

Your troubling dreams gave way to more pleasant ones. You felt you could relax in these dreams. They were all warmth and safety. You felt a sense of security and joy in your heart unlike anything you'd ever felt before. Maybe it was just a way for your mind to escape, to give you a break from your current physical surroundings. Even if that was the case, you would take it.

Still half-asleep in the morning, you opened your eyes to a lavish bedroom. The effects of your more relaxing dreams lingered with you, furthering your unconcerned state. Blinking your tired, half-closed eyes, you took in the details of the room around you. You lay on a huge bed with green sheets. Bookcases lined the walls with sconces strategically placed to light the room. They weren't lit at the moment, though, as the morning sun was streaming through the cracks in the curtains over the tall windows. Within your range of vision while laying on your side, you could also see a desk at one wall, a sofa facing the wall to your back, and an assortment of small tables and dressers scattered through the room.

Taking this all in, you nestled down in the bed, assuming you must still be dreaming, because you'd never seen this place before. Stretching out under the covers, you did note briefly that you felt sore and uncomfortable, but you didn't get the chance to dwell on that thought for long. A hand snaked up your hip and a silky smooth voice soon followed.

"Good morning, love," it purred softly in your ear. The voice evidently came with a pair of lips, because they met the skin behind your ear.

You smiled, recognizing the voice as Loki's, and preened at his attention. This evidently would be a good dream. You'd had a few like this since the Battle of New York, and had long since accepted that you were attracted to Loki deep down. You'd already tried fighting your feelings. It hadn't worked. Besides, this was all happening inside your own head. What could it hurt?

Loki's hand tugged on your hip while you were musing. Giving in to his silent, physical plea, you rolled onto your back and came face to face with him. Your eyes were met with his beautiful dark green ones as he lay over you, a soft smile deep within his eyes. A sight you had dreamt of many times.

Reaching up, you twined your arms around his neck lazily. Loki's eyes gleamed triumphantly in the brief instant just before they closed as he lowered his lips to yours. You reveled in his kiss as your own eyes slipped closed and you held him closer. Just as in all your other dreams, this kiss was infinitely better than the first one you'd shared in his prison cell.

Strangely though, it was more detailed than in your other dreams. You felt the brush of Loki's hair falling against your skin. The sound of his breathing and your pounding heart echoed loudly in your ears. Loki's fingers gently stroked against your scalp beneath your hair. Strange, but extremely pleasant.

Pulling yourself up using your arms around his neck, you nibbled his bottom lip gently. Loki let out a pleased groan and his lips went still to let you do whatever you willed. Smiling, you possessively claimed his lips as your own, licking the spot where your teeth had been at work. You knew this dream wouldn't last forever, and you were going to make it count.

When you'd had your fill after a few minutes, you lowered yourself back down to the bed and opened your eyes. Both of you were breathing hard as Loki stared at you in wonder. He licked his lips and pressed another, gentler kiss to your lips.

"I love you," he breathed against your skin while your eyes were still closed. Pulling away, he gazed into your eyes, hopefully waiting for your response.

Your heart soared to hear his proclamation. Pulling one hand down to cup the side of his face, you stroked your thumb against his cheek for a moment. Loki leaned into your hand. You started to speak. "I-"

And then, over Loki's shoulder, a sudden movement drew your attention. It was a leaf floating down, right through the ceiling and making its way towards the floor.

"What is it?" Loki questioned with a slight frown, trying to regain your attention.

But you were awake now, and you were quickly coming to realize that for yourself. That this was _not_ a dream, and that you should have been in a forest but you didn't appear to be.

That Loki was really with you.

With a mighty shove, you pushed him off you and sat up on the bed. But there shouldn't have been a bed in the forest. What was going on?! Now that you were sitting up, you could tell that something was off with the perspective from the bed to the floor. This was all fake.

Whipping your head over to glare at Loki, you demanded, "What is this?"

For a moment, Loki didn't speak, carefully watching you. But then, he sighed and waved his hand. The illusion around you dissipated. The bedroom and all the furniture gave way to the forest clearing the two of you had gone to sleep in the night before. The morning sun streamed through the leafy canopies rather than the windows, and the warm sheets of the bed had been nothing but your jacket that you'd used as a makeshift blanket.

Tossing your jacket aside, you leapt to your feet in outrage. The cool morning air of Alfheim hit you in the face, making you fully wake and take in what had just happened. You stared around yourself, but your eyes ultimately landed on Loki, still sitting on the ground, still watching you carefully. Your eyes drifted from his guarded face down to the ground beside him where you had been laying. Where you'd been tricked into thinking you were dreaming.

Where you had just been MAKING OUT with Loki not five minutes ago.

And it had not been a dream.

Your face slowly reddened as your anger began to grow. Focusing your glare on Loki, you spluttered, unable to articulate just how pissed you were. "How- Why- You- I thought-"

"Now, just hold on," Loki tried, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace.

But just about then, you found your words.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you screamed, now fully red in the face, not just with embarrassment, but with hot-headed anger, "HAVEN'T YOU FUCKED WITH MY HEAD ENOUGH ALREADY, YOU ASS?!"

"I haven't done anything to your head!" Loki protested, hurrying to his feet as well to defend himself. If looks could kill, Loki would have dropped dead at that moment from the heat of the glare you sent his way. Loki was forcibly reminded of a kettle of hot water about to boil over. "Not since New York, I mean..." he amended quickly.

"What do you call that, then?" you pressed, gesturing wildly at the clearing around the two of you, referring to the strange room.

"All I did was create an illusion of my room in Asgard," Loki insisted, crossing his arms decisively, as if he was now absolved of all guilt.

"But why?!" you raged, stomping a few steps towards him, "What reason could you possibly have to do that, if not to make me think that I was dreaming and lull me into a false sense of security?"

For a few moments, Loki was silent, taking that in. "Whatever you thought," he said at last, "is not my fault. You can't blame me for your confusion."

"THE HELL I CAN'T!" you burst out, seeing red at him shifting the blame to you. You needed to cool your head or you were likely to do something to try to hurt Loki. You had a feeling that wouldn't end well. For you.

After snatching up your jacket from the ground, you turned on your heel and stormed off into the trees. In the back of your mind, you were surprised that Loki didn't try to stop you as he had the night before. _God help him if he tries_ , you thought harshly, stepping over tree roots and pushing branches aside in your aimless warpath.

Glancing behind yourself after you'd been walking for a few minutes, you saw Loki following you at a slight distance. Still, he clearly wasn't intent on stopping you. He seemed to be content to let you lead the way. For the moment, at least. Returning your eyes forward, you went back to ignoring him, still fuming over what he'd done and his refusal to take any blame for it.

It took quite some time for your anger to cool. It helped that Loki kept his mouth shut the whole time, and exploring a strange, foreign forest helped take your mind off things. Eventually though, when you didn't feel quite so murderous towards Loki, you had to question what exactly the two of you were supposed to be doing now.

You came to a stop, turned around, and waited for Loki to catch up to you. He hadn't been that far away, and he had crazy long legs, so it didn't take much time. "Where are we going?" you asked shortly, hoping for an equally short answer. When Loki raised an amused eyebrow at you, you grudgingly acknowledged that there was no chance of that.

"You tell me," he returned, a half-grin on his face, "You seem to know where you're going."

You were less amused. On the contrary, you felt very much like rubbing your temples in exasperation and annoyance. At least he hadn't made you want to hurt him again. "Okay," you began, gathering your thoughts (and patience), "Do you have any plan beyond holding me captive against my will?"

That wiped the smile off Loki's face. He was now grimacing at you with a sour expression. For a long while, he was silent and didn't seem about to break his silence any time soon. You got the picture. Any questions you asked about Loki himself, or his motivations, or basically anything of value would be met with resounding silence. You weren't sure if his reticence was due to cunning, or because he genuinely didn't have the answers, but at least now you knew what to do if you wanted him to shut up in the future.

"Alright, I get it," you sighed, beginning to walk again, "We're wandering aimlessly. No need to go into an existential crisis. Let's change the subject."

The sound of rustling leaves and snapping twigs behind you was the only indication for a while that Loki was following you. After some time, though, he regained his power of speech and with it, his enraging sense of humor. "So, you've dreamed about me before, hm?" he asked slyly.

You groaned as your face flushed. That was one detail you'd hoped Loki would overlook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki's reason for doing anything in this story = ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aimless trek continues.

Looking up at the bright sky of what you assumed was midday, you felt a sinking feeling in the pit of your gut. And you had a feeling that it had little to do with the pangs of hunger you were starting to feel. "I guess I'm officially late for work," you complained dully to Loki as the two of you walked.

Loki looked over at you, raising a brow. At length, he responded, "You're welcome."

"No!" you shot back, glowering at him, "I liked my job! I wanted to keep it!" As you spoke, Loki leveled a skeptical look at you. "But jobs tend to prefer when you don't skip out on them without notice," you went on heatedly, "And I can't very well call and tell them that I've been abducted by an alien to a different planet. First of all, because they would think I'd completely lost my mind. And second-" You whipped out your phone and waved it in his face, "I DON'T HAVE ANY RECEPTION OUT HERE!"

Loki was still watching you interestedly. "Are you done?" he asked.

You got the distinct impression that he had barely listened to a word you'd said. "Not nearly," you grumbled, tucking your phone back into your pocket.

"You don't need a job anymore," Loki explained as you listened incredulously, "You're with me now. I'll provide for you. Anything you need."

"I _need_ to be able to make my own money," you replied pointedly, unimpressed.

Loki's earnest expression fell into a blank-faced deadpan. "That's not what I meant," he muttered, side-eying you.

Shaking your head, you crossed your arms, stepping over tree roots. "Nope, too late. You said you'd give me what I needed," you argued, "Now take me back while I can still give my boss a believable excuse." Turning to Loki, you checked his face for a reaction. You knew it was worth a shot to ask, but you didn't really expect this tactic to work.

Sure enough, Loki held his silence, frowning, his mouth set in a thin line. You two walked for a few minutes like that, the only sounds your rustling footsteps, birdsong, and the breeze blowing through the treetops.

Finally, you had to give up. Blowing out a huffy sigh, you burst out, "Fine! Can I at least get some more food, then?"

~~~~

Another night fell on Alfheim, and you and Loki stopped again for the night. After you'd eaten another inadequate meal, you knew it would be time to sleep soon. But you were in no mood to sleep. Not in your current state, anyway. "I feel like a mess," you grumbled abruptly after your meal.

"What?" Loki questioned, thrown off-guard.

"I haven't showered or anything in two days!" you complained, "I haven't even changed clothes! If I spend one more minute feeling like a trash monster, I'm gonna lose it."

At the word 'monster', Loki flinched just slightly, barely noticeable. You wondered if it had been just a trick of the firelight, because in the next second, his face was back to normal. He held out his hand in midair in front of him.

With no idea what he was doing, you let out a confused, "Uhh..."

But then, Loki made a sharp motion. A formless bundle of cloth appeared suddenly in his hand where before there had been nothing but air. Your mouth fell open as your eyes widened. Holding the cloth up with both hands to reveal that it was a green shirt, Loki looked it over critically. "Well," he said at length, "I doubt it will fit you properly, but at least it will be an improvement over your current state. What do you think?" He looked up to see you staring unabashedly at him. "What?" he asked, looking self-conscious for the first time you had ever seen.

But you were too astonished to dwell on his facial expression. "Did... you just pull that out of nowhere?!" you sputtered. At Loki's affirming nod, you went on, "Could you have done that at any time?"

Understanding that you wanted an explanation, Loki provided one. "I keep a few useful provisions tucked away for whenever I might need them. I would often join my br-" He cut off with a harsh breath, and then started his sentence over after a moment, looking angry with himself. "I used to be dragged along on camping trips," he said instead, shortly.

You were still way too distracted to wonder about Loki's emotional confusion. "Tucked away where???" you questioned, scanning your eyes over his person before shaking your head sharply. "Never mind; I don't need to know," you said, "But what other stuff do you have hidden away?"

"What do you need?" Loki asked in turn, grateful for the change of subject.

He ended up conjuring you a hairbrush, a (clean) toothbrush, a washcloth, and a basin for water. As each object appeared in Loki's hand, you watched, amazed, trying to figure out where they were coming from. You gave up very quickly, though, when you realized you had everything you had asked Loki for and could clean yourself up, at least a little.

After filling the basin with water from the nearby river, you set to it at once. You washed your face and brushed your hair and teeth, and felt much better for it, but you had to decline the fresh set of clothing Loki offered. As much as you wanted to change, you drew the line at wearing Loki's clothes. It may come to that eventually, but you were not yet so desperate as to give him the satisfaction.

Once you were done, you set the things aside and sat back, able to relax somewhat. "Thanks," you told Loki in relief before you could stop and remind yourself that it was his fault you were in this mess in the first place. To make up for it, you quickly complained, "I want to find a lake or something tomorrow to clean myself more, though."

"Feel better?" Loki asked, amused, as a small grin crossed his lips.

"Better," you held up a finger, not wanting him to think you were too pleased with him, "but not great." The words sparked something in your memory and a twisting feeling spiraled through your gut when you remembered when you'd said those exact words before. To Hawkeye, after he'd set you free from the mind control.

 _Loki's_ mind control.

Any hint of contentment or a smile fell from your lips as you frowned. Curling your legs up to your chest, you held onto them and leaned back against a tree, avoiding looking at Loki.

That's right... You couldn't forget: Loki had mind controlled you. He had attacked New York City - the whole world, actually. He had murdered people, he had tried to be the Earth's king, and he didn't even seem to be sorry about any of it. He was the bad guy. You couldn't forget that. You couldn't let your guard down. Not one bit. It had only been a day and a half, and already you could tell that you were letting him in. Loki was not your friend. He had taken you away from your home, away from your friends, away from your job, away from your life. What more could he take away from you?

You shivered, though the night was not chilly.

While you were mulling over the current state of your life, Loki settled himself down on the ground. Unaware of your line of thought at the moment, he announced, "I'm going to sleep."

You were knocked out of your thoughts with a slight start. Turning your attention to him, you questioned absently, "Hm?"

"I'm going to sleep," Loki repeated. He assumed a wide grin, gesturing to the ground at his side. "Join me?" he invited.

Stiffening and drawing your legs closer to your chest, your frown deepened. "Are you gonna pull another trick on me like you did this morning?" you questioned coldly.

Loki held his hands up in mock surrender. "No more illusions," he assured you.

Narrowing your eyes, you weren't sure if you could trust him. Oh, who were you kidding? Of course you couldn't. Still, you needed to sleep...

Staring Loki in the eyes for a few moments, you tried to judge his sincerity. As you expected, you weren't able to gauge anything from just looking at him. With a sigh, you slowly uncurled your posture to lay down as well. "I don't believe you," you sighed as you settled down on your side, facing the trickster god. You'd rather face him and know exactly where he was rather than turn your back to him. You did keep your distance though, a few feet between the two of you.

Tucking your rolled-up jacket under your head for a pillow, you tried to get as comfortable as you could. Alfheim's ground seemed softer than Earth's, but only just barely. While you were settling in, Loki watched you. You must have had some of your earlier thoughts and misgivings on your face, because as soon as you stopped fidgeting and made eye contact with him, he asked, "Something troubling you?"

 _Other than the obvious?_ you returned dryly in your mind, but you couldn't seem to bring yourself to voice the sarcastic quip. You were growing weary of keeping your thoughts to yourself. "Why?" you whispered in return. The sorrow on your face made Loki grow serious, a frown creasing the space between his eyebrows. In explanation, you went on, still in hushed tones, "I don't understand why you would take me away from my home." A tear escaped your eye and you impatiently moved your head to brush it off on your jacket pillow.

Watching you, Loki appeared emotionless. Or perhaps he was hiding his emotions too well. "I want to be with you," he stated factually, not explaining anything.

"But _why?"_ you pressed, your voice fervent, "I'm just an insignificant mortal you used for your own purposes. Why me?"

Loki hesitated for a few moments, silent in his contemplation.

Certain that he was shutting himself off yet again, you began to grow frustrated, though you were quickly becoming tired of that too. But what could you do about it if Loki wouldn't explain anything to you? "Fine," you spat, about to roll over, not caring what he might do to you.

"You returned to me."

Your motion stopped and you watched him expectantly, hoping for more.

Sure enough, Loki went on explaining. "You came to me in Asgard's dungeons, and you kissed me. Do you remember?" He didn't require a verbal answer; your blush and averted eyes told him enough. "In that kiss, I saw us, and the life we could lead. The life I could have. It was a vision, as clearly as I see you before me now. My future - the only future I want - lies with you." When you looked up again, Loki's intense gaze was locked on yours. "You are the only one who can save me," he concluded, deathly serious.

That was quite a lot to take in. Your mind reeled at the enormity of what Loki expected of you. But then, indignance took over at the weight and the inconvenience he had thrust upon your shoulders. "You think that excuses you?" you asked, your voice shaking in quiet rage.

Loki shrugged as well as he could, sprawled on his side. "You asked why," he said.

Staring at him incredulously, you couldn't believe him. How in the world were you supposed to react? Shaking your head, you decided to simply not react at all. Settling your head down into your 'pillow' with a frown, you closed your eyes.

Seeing this, Loki spoke up before you could conceivably pretend to be asleep. "May I kiss you goodnight?" he asked, his voice almost exaggeratedly polite. Evidently, he'd replaced sincerity with his idea of humor.

Opening your eyes to properly glare at him, you answered, "No."

"Just your hand?" Loki wheedled.

Pulling your hand in close to your chest, you closed your eyes again, hoping he would get the hint. "No."

You heard him sigh, and then he was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it a little too convenient that Loki just happens to have all the stuff that you need to clean yourself up? Probably, yeah. Again, suspension of disbelief is key here, folks.
> 
> Next chapter, we'll have some action! Thanks for reading and Kudos-ing!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pleasant moment by yourself becomes a significantly less pleasant moment. You'd only wanted a bath, but you get more excitement than you bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: humanoid aliens being creepy. Also, some violence.

The following morning, you and Loki woke without incident, and you were immediately in a better mood than the previous day. Your nightly conversation was put out of your mind.

Come midday, it was warm, the two of you had followed the river to a lake, and you put your foot down: you were going to have a bath.

After collecting a few necessary items from Loki, you pointed at him, a stern expression on your face. "And you will NOT watch me, understand? I promise I won't run away, but I also promise that if I see you peeping on me, I will do my absolute best to kill you," you threatened firmly, giving him the fiercest stink eye you could muster.

"On my honor," Loki vowed, scraping you a mock bow.

"I'm less convinced now..." you muttered dryly.

Returning to his full height, Loki chuckled. "I mean it. I will only ensure you don't run away by detecting your life essence."

Your frown turned confused. Suspecting that he was talking about things you didn't understand to lull you into a false sense of security, your confusion quickly turned to outrage. "What does that mean?" you demanded, "You can see me and I won't know?"

"No," Loki assured, "The spell doesn't let me actually see anything more than what's in front of my eyes. I can only detect life and where it is."

Untrusting, you narrowed your eyes at him. He returned your eye contact steadily. Once again, you couldn't read him. Eventually, your want to be clean won out over your distrust of Loki. "Alright..." you said skeptically, still eyeing him, "I'll come back here when I'm done, then."

You'd done as much as you could to keep him away for a while. No doubt he would just do whatever he wanted to anyway. Any more scolding on your part would just be a waste of time. _Never mind him_ , you thought, shaking him from your mind as you walked to the lake. You brightened again immediately at the thought of getting clean.

Armed with a washcloth and towel, soap, and a vial of what Loki swore was the Asgardian equivalent of shampoo, you arrived at the lakeside and found a deep section of water with a convenient rock nearby to place your toiletries on. You were also pleased to see there was a tree growing along the shore as well with sturdy, low-hanging branches. You wanted to wash your clothing while you were bathing, and the branches would be ideal to hang them on to dry.

Now that your arms were empty, there was no point in delaying any longer. Crouching down, you reached a hand out to test the crystal clear water. You were pleased to see that the water was so clear, you could see straight to the bottom. To your surprise and delight, you found it was warm too, conveniently almost like bathwater. Finally! Something good had come out of this otherwise awful abduction.

With that, you lowered yourself, still fully clothed (minus shoes), down into the water. Only once you were submerged to your neck (your feet on the soft, sandy lake floor) did you remove each article of clothing one at a time under the water. After cleaning them as best you could and wringing them out, you hung them out on the tree branches above your head, then finally set to washing yourself.

The first thing you did was test the alleged 'shampoo' that Loki had given you, just to make sure he wasn't trying to prank you in some horrible way. Opening the vial, you sniffed it (though you weren't sure what you were smelling for, exactly). Tilting it to the side, you let a small drop of the liquid fall into the water, observing it carefully. It didn't do anything bad to the water... You poured a tiny bit into your palm and poked it with the finger of your other hand. It seemed to have about the same consistency as Earth shampoo...

After a moment of consideration, you chose a small strand of your hair and applied the substance to the very ends. You waited. It didn't turn your hair green... or burn it away completely...

A pleasant scent wafted to your nose. The substance made your hair smell nice. It seemed Loki hadn't been lying after all. And so, you decided not to worry about it anymore.

You already felt so much better, having escaped from your gross, sweaty clothing you'd been wearing for two days straight. Getting clean felt even more heavenly. Washing your hair and scrubbing away at your skin, you decided you would never again take for granted having access to running water.

Getting to the end of your task, you pondered idly that you didn't need to be in any hurry to return to Loki. He could just wait a while. You wanted to relax and enjoy being in the water... and away from him. Wondering just how long you could conceivably take before he lost his patience, it took you a moment to realize you could hear leaves rustling from the direction you'd left him.

Before you could mentally process this, Loki emerged from the trees of the forest, saving you the trouble. "Loki!" you protested in a scream of distress, covering yourself and crossing your legs. (The water was really quite clear.) "What the hell?! You said you wouldn't!" You could feel your face had gone completely red, and not only with embarrassment.

But once you had covered yourself as much as possible and started paying attention to what Loki was doing instead, you saw that he wasn't even looking in your direction. In fact, he was hastily making his way along the lakeshore, his stride somehow managing to look murderous.

Seeing that, your anger became confusion. Something wasn't right... "Loki?" you questioned, your voice quieter. He may not have heard you.

As quickly as he had appeared, he vanished again into the bushes. Still bewildered and alarmed, you watched the bushes and waited. Almost immediately, the sound of a struggle emitted, and you jumped. In a second, a strange man was thrown out of the bushes, soon followed by Loki reemerging, stalking to where the man had landed on his back.

You let out an involuntary yell as you scrambled backwards. Had that man been watching you?!

Your yelp had drawn his attention back to you, and an ugly leer crawled across his face. You shrank back fearfully, curling in on yourself even more, though there was only so much you could do. "So much easier to see from out here," the strange man cackled.

Viciously, Loki flung a hand out towards you. Feeling a strange tingling sensation cover your body, you gasped. _What did he just do?!_

"Hey-!" the strange man started to protest, but cut himself off when Loki grabbed him by the front of his clothes and lifted him off his feet. You could see now that he was wearing a ragtag mishmash of dusty and worn clothing, the outer layer of which was a dirty, rust-colored coat that hung past his knees. The man grasped at Loki's wrists as he hung helplessly in midair.

"Ravagers aren't supposed to be found within the Nine Realms," Loki growled, pulling the man closer threateningly, "Asgard won't be pleased to find you here."

The man (Ravager?) laughed humorlessly, dryly, though it was somewhat choked. "Heh. Doubt it," he managed, catching his breath before adding, "Asgard's busy looking for their fallen prince..." He gave Loki a significant grin as, behind Loki, another four people (aliens???) emerged from the trees, dressed similar to the alleged Ravager.

At the subtle threat, Loki stiffened. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that he was surrounded.

You weren't sure what was going to happen now (or what they were even talking about, really), but nobody was paying you any attention anymore, so you had relaxed a little.

Just then, with no warning, Loki called a knife to his hand and slit the throat of the Ravager he'd been holding up.

The others immediately set upon him with battle cries, but you didn't wait to see what was going to happen. When you saw green blood spraying from the otherwise normal-looking man's throat, you let out a scream and covered your eyes. It was too late though: you'd already seen way more than you'd ever wanted to.

Unfortunately, you could also still hear way more than you wanted to. Blaster fire. Screams and cries. Fleshy slicing sounds. It was the soldiers in the tower all over again. Turning around in the water, you clamped your eyes shut and covered your ears, trying to block out the sounds and the memories.

Who was right? Who was wrong? Which side were you supposed to be on when both of them were bad?

In your turmoil, you almost didn't notice the noise of battle stop. When you returned to yourself though, and realized the clearing had gone silent, you tentatively uncovered your ears and opened your eyes. Turning slowly, you saw Loki still standing, the sole survivor on the beach.

Traitorously, your heart leapt with triumph, and you tried to stifle the feeling at once. It seemed your heart had decided for you whose side you were on.

With his back to you, Loki took a few deep breaths, then set to cleaning his knife of the blood. "It's safe to get out now, if you're finished bathing," he said as he worked.

You stiffened, not removing your arms from covering your body. "B-but..." you stammered, only barely finding your voice, "you're..."

"You're invisible," Loki told you, still with his back turned, "I won't see anything."

Invisible? You looked down at yourself. To your eyes, you could see your own body just fine. Although, upon closer inspection, there did seem to be some kind of weird shine covering your skin. And there had been that tingling sensation... Turning your attention to Loki, you saw that he had finished cleaning his knife, but still had his back to you, waiting. You didn't believe him, but at least you wouldn't have his eyes on you.

Resigned, you climbed out of the lake and wrapped the sizeable towel around your shoulders as securely as you could, still somewhat in a daze.

Clearly not hearing or otherwise sensing any more movement, Loki turned around to face you, approaching where you stood. "May I make you visible again?" he asked evenly once he'd drawn closer.

"Yes, it's fine," you replied dully.

Loki frowned, his eyes flicking to the tree branch where your clothes still hung. "But... your clothing..." he trailed off.

"They need to dry," you explained shortly.

Loki was silent for a few moments, considering you, as much as he could without seeing you. "Very well," he said at last, waving his hand towards you again.

You felt the tingling feeling spread over your body yet again, but somehow in reverse. It was hard to describe the feeling, but you didn't give it much thought. Your mind was more occupied with the sight of the dead bodies on the other shore. You were staring at them with wide eyes when you came back into view.

Loki evidently noticed. "Are you alright?" he asked gently.

Not a question you felt you were equipped to answer at the moment. Were you alright? You'd been well away from any of the fighting, so Loki must have assumed you weren't physically harmed. But emotionally? You'd been ogled and objectified. Not by Loki, though. No, he had only killed people - aliens, whatever. He'd taken life as though it had been nothing, but he was regarding _you_ with caring concern. How were you supposed to reconcile him in your mind with your complex emotions for him?

Despite your internal conflict, you moved slowly closer to Loki, your eyes still glued on the bodies laying in pools of multicolored blood. Deflecting his original question, you faintly murmured one of your own. "Did you really have to kill them?"

Loki didn't spare the bodies a second glance. "They recognized me," he stated.

At his words, you finally turned your eyes to him. His inflection hadn't been particularly hateful, but nor had it been regretful. It had been perfectly neutral. Clinical. A simple fact.

And, for some reason, it was the final straw on the horse's back to make you finally break down with the stress and turmoil that had erupted so suddenly within the last half hour when before, you had been having quite a pleasant time, all things considered.

Clutching your towel closer to your otherwise naked and vulnerable form, your eyes filled with tears. As you squeezed them closed, a few tears escaped down your cheeks and you let out a shuddering sob. Leaning into Loki, you sought out comfort. You didn't care who it came from.

Tentatively, Loki's arms enfolded you, careful to stay on top of the towel. Holding you close, he let out a soft sigh.

Mindlessly seeking out his warmth, you buried your face in the scratchy cloth of his shirt, letting the hot tears roll down your cheeks. Suddenly, the only thing important to your mind was that he had protected and defended you. Your rational mind knew that it wasn't as simple as that, but rationality had long since flown out the window. Where before you would have flinched away from his touch, you now relished in it, and that thought only drew further tears. Gasping in shuddering breaths, you felt Loki rubbing your back, trying to soothe you.

When you'd finally cried out your heart and all of your distress, you opened your eyes, seeing nothing but the green of Loki's shirt. You still didn't want to pull away though. The thought troubled you.

"I was starting to forget you," you whispered, shutting your eyes again wearily.

In response, Loki kissed the top of your head among your damp hair. You let out another soft sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the idea for Loki's life detection spell from Skyrim. It seems like the kind of thing he would be able to do.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you encounter a creature in need of help, Loki does something you would never expect of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much more lighthearted chapter than last time!
> 
> Also, the return of the dreaded (Y/N). I do try to avoid using that format, but what can I say? Sometimes it's nice for Loki to say your name. ;)

A few days later, you and Loki were walking through a part of the forest that was lushly decorated with flowers of every color covering the forest floor. You had never seen anything like it in person before. "Can we stop here for a while?" you'd asked, then stopped anyway before Loki even had the opportunity to answer.

"Of course," he chuckled as you plopped yourself down with a tree trunk at your back to rest against.

While Loki roamed nearby, you took a closer look at the blue and purple flowers in the patch you sat in. They were all so beautiful, and obviously exotic somehow. It wasn't like you could claim to know all of Earth's flowers, but there was just something about these that screamed 'ALIEN'. You couldn't put your finger on it, so instead you settled for simple appreciation.

You were tempted to use your phone to take some pictures, but you resisted. Ever since finding there was no reception (which made sense, honestly), you'd turned it off, and you planned to keep it that way. If you ever got back to Earth, you hoped to have at least a little battery life left. To call somebody for help, maybe? You weren't sure, but you liked to keep your options open.

"(Y/N)," Loki called from across the way, jolting you from your ponderings. Looking over to where his voice had come from, you saw that he was crouched beside a bush. "Come here; I need your help," he added, not looking back at you.

You were inclined to ignore him, just out of spite, but curiosity got the better of you. Pushing yourself to your feet, you crossed the space between you and Loki, rounding him so you could see the bush. And once you could, you plainly saw what he needed help with, making your eyes widen.

In among the thorny branches of the bush, there was a tiny, baby-blue humanoid creature whose iridescent wings had gotten stuck in the thorns. At your appearance (even though all you were doing was staring, slack-jawed), the creature started to thrash around, trying to get away. It only served to get itself further ensnared and add more damage to its wings.

Hurriedly, Loki leaned in as close as he could to the bush (without getting scratched himself) and murmured something to it in a gentle, soothing voice, speaking a language you didn't understand. Nevertheless, once he'd said his piece, the creature calmed a little and stilled, though its wide, all-black eyes were still warily fixated on you.

"Is... is that..?" you started faintly.

"A pixie," Loki finished for you, his attention focused completely on the task at hand. Pulling a knife out of nowhere, he went on, "Now you're here, I need you to-"

"You're not going to eat it, are you?" you cut in, recoiling back in disgust, your eyes on the knife.

That comment made Loki snap his head over to you, his expression equally disgusted. "'Her'," he corrected first, his voice offended, "And no, of course I'm not going to eat her!"

Defensively, you shot back, "Well, how am I supposed to know?! You haven't told me anything about yourself!"

For a moment, Loki just stared at you. Then he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Just hold these branches out of the way, will you?" he sighed in exasperation.

Abashed by how hard he was judging you, you hastened to do as he'd asked, your face suddenly feeling very warm.

With both of Loki's hands free, he was quickly able to cut away the branches that were caught on the pixie's wings, and remove the thorns. The damage had already been done to her wings, though. They lay limp behind her, tattered. There was no way she would be able to fly anytime soon, if at all.

"Aw... That's too bad..." you let out sadly, "What do we do now?" You wondered if the two of you would be obligated to carry the pixie with you now, to keep her safe. Loki had wanted to help her. You doubted that he'd just leave her behind, unable to fly and vulnerable to attack.

Instead of answering you, Loki kept his attention trained on the pixie in his palm, who was sadly looking back at her torn-up wings. He spoke another quiet question to her in that strange language that you couldn't understand.

At least, you assumed it was a question, because in response, the pixie looked at him and slowly nodded her head after a moment of consideration.

With her acquiescence, Loki extended his free hand over his other hand where she sat. Green, swirling light emitted between them, covering the pixie from head to toe. This didn't seem to worry her though, and you soon saw why. Before your eyes, the pixie's wings were stitching themselves back together. It was like watching a bubble pop in reverse slow motion.

_Magic_ , you realized, your eyes wide. It had to be. Loki was healing the pixie's wings with magic! But what reason did he have to do such a favor? Didn't Loki only do things if they would benefit him in some way? Or was that just an assumption you'd made about him, certain that he must be bad through and through? Now you weren't so sure.

After only a few moments, the pixie's wings had re-formed and looked good as new. Sure enough, she fluttered them a few times experimentally and was able to hover just off of Loki's palm. Beaming up at him, she rattled off something excitedly in her pixie language, her voice high-pitched and nearly inaudible.

With a serious look on his face, Loki replied to her in that same language.

You truly wished you could understand what they were saying. You felt a bit left out.

In response to his serious statement (or question?) the pixie nodded vigorously. Flittering her wings rapidly, she lifted off of Loki's hand and hovered in the air like a hummingbird. Closing in on him, she kissed his cheek, then took off into the forest.

Looking to Loki, you noticed a soft expression had taken over his face, just the hint of a smile on his lips. Breaking into his thoughts, you commented, "You helped her."

Loki turned his attention to you, growing slightly more defensive. "Yes," he returned, matter-of-fact.

Blinking a few times, you shrugged. "I dunno, I just expected you-"

"-to eat her?" Loki suggested, raising a sardonic eyebrow at you.

"I already explained why I thought that," you grumbled, feeling your face flush again, "Don't judge me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of fun to finally break up the angst. :)
> 
> I'll probably post the next chapter a bit sooner than usual, since this one was so short. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Loki discuss some of your more pressing questions from when you were under the scepter's influence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader is referred to as Loki's queen again in this chapter. Sorry again for that if you don't identify as such. If you've made it this far, though, I figure there's a pretty good chance you don't mind.

The clearing Loki stopped the two of you in after a week on the run finally allowed you to see the beauty of Alfheim that he had been talking about. You sat side-by-side on a cliff next to a river that cascaded down the mountainside in a waterfall. Sitting on a rock beside it, listening to the rush and the distant fall of the water, you watched the sun set into the vast wilderness you overlooked.

In the far distance beyond the enormous forest, you could just make out a city. Even from such a distance, you could see that it appeared overrun with ivy and vines, but Loki insisted that it was inhabited and thriving.

The longer you sat there, the sky slowly grew into a fiery canvas of red, orange, and pink as the sun set. You bit your tongue. You didn't want to admit to Loki that he'd been right about Alfheim's beauty.

Luckily for you, your mind moved on quickly to a very different, more ponderous and nostalgic place. "Loki?" you opened tentatively.

"Mm?"

"Do you remember that story you told me on our first..." You hesitated, then redirected your sentence. "On my first night in the tower?"

Slowly, Loki looked away from the sunset and over to you, sitting up straighter as if sensing the importance of this conversation. "Yes, I do," he answered cautiously as that night replayed in his head, "What of it?"

"Was it true?" you asked, glancing over to meet his eyes. You'd decided to ask the easier question first.

"It was," Loki replied.

_Damn_ , you thought, without much heat. You'd been hoping that his story had been a lie so that your second question would have been moot and you needn't ask it. But now you wanted to know for sure... "Why did you tell it to me?"

Loki hid his fidgeting under a show of further straightening his posture and tilting his head at you inquisitively. For a moment, you caught a hint of his anxious behavior, but it was gone when he summoned a challenging smirk to his face, spreading his hands apart in invitation. "It sounds like you already have an idea," he prompted, "Why do _you_ think I told it to you?"

Internally, you cursed again. Why could he read you so easily? Collecting yourself and schooling your face into a neutral expression, you decided to play along. "Well... there's the obvious parallels you were drawing between your story and what was happening at the time," you rationalized, sorting out your thoughts while you spoke, "What with the war, and taking a queen from a defeated world. You were explaining to me why you did it."

You hesitated, looking down at your hands in your lap. "But I think," you went on eventually, "there's more to it than that." Looking up, you saw Loki was watching you steadily, giving no indication of whether you were on to something or not. Undeterred, you pressed on. "I think you wanted me to remember it and consider what you told me after... after I was freed."

For a moment, Loki studied you, considering your words. Continuing to ponder what you'd said, he returned his attention out to the sunset. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the sun's warmth, taking a deep breath. Then, under his breath, he murmured what you thought sounded like, "Did I?"

"What?" you asked, frowning as you leaned a bit closer. Were your ears playing tricks on you?

Turning his attention back to you, Loki repeated, "Did you?"

You _had_ misheard him, then. But you were still confused. "Did I..?"

"Consider my story," Loki clarified, "Once you were no longer under my control."

"Oh, uh..." you stammered, understanding at last. He wanted to know if his plan had worked. "Well, yes," you admitted grudgingly. With a sigh, you averted your eyes, adding, "You certainly made it hard to hate you."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Loki raise an eyebrow at you. "You don't hate me," he stated, his voice almost teasing.

"No," you agreed, unable to keep your lips from twitching up. You'd let your guard down, at least for the moment. "I want to. But I just can't," you admitted.

"Mm..."

Loki was gazing at the sunset, not truly seeing it at all. His absentminded hum drew your attention to his distraction. While he wasn't paying attention, you watched him for a few moments, the setting sun illuminating every little detail. The sharp planes of his face were so smooth and unblemished, he may have been made of porcelain. When he closed his eyes again, his dark eyelashes fanned out against his pale skin. The contrast was beautiful.

Catching yourself staring (nearly drooling), you shook yourself out of it and forced yourself to look away. You tried to focus on the sunset and think of nothing else, but Loki's face was etched in your mind now. If you were to be honest with yourself, you did find him incredibly handsome. You couldn't deny it.

Your musing over Loki's good looks soon turned your thoughts to yet another question you'd wondered about from your days back in the tower after the New York attack. Before you could second-guess yourself, you asked it aloud, possibly more abruptly than you should have. "Why didn't you take advantage of me back then?"

Loki started and whipped his head around to stare at you. "What?!" he blurted out. His expression was incredulous, almost offended, as he frowned at you.

"Can you blame me for wondering?" you defended yourself, "You took me as your queen, then never even touched me. It was... strange, that's all."

"Did you want me to?" Loki demanded, now nearly angry.

"No!" you protested, not understanding why he was getting upset with you, "But I wouldn't have stopped you!" At that realization, your abrupt anger cooled right off as your gaze became faraway and quietly distressed. "I wouldn't... have stopped you," you repeated faintly with a shudder, "Under your influence, you could have done anything you wanted to me and I would have... enjoyed it..." Shaking your head, you rubbed your eyes, wishing those lingering thoughts away.

When you lowered your hands from your face, you saw Loki's expression had become frustratedly conflicted as he frowned at you in consternation. "(Y/N)," he said seriously in a strained voice, trying to sound as calm as he could, "I wouldn't... That's..."

He let out a breath, collecting his thoughts. For a moment, he reached out as if to grasp your shoulder, but then thought better of it, considering what you were discussing. "Just because I could..." he tried again. He still seemed unable to eloquently explain himself. "It wouldn't have counted as consent if you were under my control in the first place," he stated at last.

"That matters to you?" you questioned. You quietly suppressed the feeling of your heart lightening with hope.

"Of course it matters," Loki scoffed gruffly, studiously keeping his eyes fixed on the sunset.

You, on the other hand, watched Loki, seeing him in a new light. "Huh," you uttered thoughtfully. He was still the man who had mind-controlled you, still the man who had kidnapped you, still the man who had tried to take over your world. But apparently, there were lines that even he wouldn't cross. That was something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I firmly believe Loki is a good person deep down. He just makes bad decisions sometimes. Like, REALLY bad decisions in some cases, but hey; nobody's perfect.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and for your kind comments!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tempers run high as you get more and more tired of living in a forest. Seeing that you haven't given up on your constant pleas to go back home, Loki offers you a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some feels as the 'Escape' segment of the Victory series starts to wind down.

After your eleventh day (at least, you thought it had been eleven days) of wandering and simply existing in a repetitive, monotonous way, frustration was the only thing that you could feel towards Loki. All other more positive emotions had gone. The lack of proper sustenance certainly helped.

"Seriously, come on!" you complained when the two of you stopped to take a midday breather, continuing the argument you'd been having all day, "What are you even doing with me out here?! Were you hoping I'd eventually change my mind about tromping aimlessly around a forest with a wanted criminal? 'Cause let me tell ya: I haven't! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No, in fact, it's not," Loki sassed back, well past the point of being polite to try to win you over.

"What; you expected me to just forget about everything you've done?" you pressed.

"No! I don't know," Loki blurted out, frustrated.

There was silence for a moment.

"You don't know what you expected?" you repeated at last, blankly, your brows raising in disbelief, "How else could I possibly have reacted?"

"Listen, I didn't have a plan, alright?" Loki spat, "All I wanted was to be with you, and I acted on that."

Another short silence.

"Without thinking," you said with a sigh. It wasn't a question.

Grudgingly, Loki made a gesture with his head that conveyed, 'Yeah, more or less'.

You both took a few moments to let that sink in.

"Take me back home," you tried after a time.

"No," Loki denied firmly at once, looking away from you, down to the leaf-strewn forest floor, "I'm going to come up with something soon."

"Oh, come on!" you burst out again, "I don't want to be here! Take me back home!"

"No," Loki refused stubbornly, returning his eyes to yours and crossing his arms.

"But-" you floundered, racking your brain for some kind of argument that might work. Your mind fell on the events of New York, and you grabbed it at once. "But you made me your queen!" you cried triumphantly, pointing at him, "I'm your queen, so that means you have to do what I say!" Loki's irritation had become amusement, and you got the distinct feeling you were uselessly grasping at straws. "Right?" you added lamely.

He shook his head at you, his lips just barely quirked up. "The queen doesn't outrank the king," he informed you smugly.

You let out a frustrated sound somewhere between a scream and a growl. "Maybe not officially," you replied, loud and pointed, "But the queen does IF THE KING KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR HIM!"

"Besides," Loki pressed on as if you hadn't spoken, "if I was deposed as king, then you were certainly deposed as well."

"TAKE ME BACK, YOU DICK."

"No."

"YOU SAID YOU CARED ABOUT CONSENT!"

Any hint of a smile vanished from Loki's face at that. Was that it? Was that the magic argument to finally break his resolve?

Hoping that was the case, you pressed on, now on your feet, glaring at him. "You said consent mattered to you, but I never gave you my consent to take me away from my life on Earth."

Loki frowned back at you, not saying a word in his defense. You had at least made your point clear to him, finally.

"Or was that a lie?" you pressed, staring him down determinedly, "You talk a lot, but it never means anything. Do you ever mean anything you say?"

Loki rose to his feet, his face a stormy mix of emotion, and you suddenly remembered just how tall he was as he towered over you. You tried to force yourself to stand your ground, but you couldn't help taking a few steps back, your heart rate picking up in fear. You'd let down your guard lately, forgetting who he really was. Had you now made a fatal mistake and pushed him too far?

But no: he didn't move to strike you. "You want a choice?" he asked quietly. Holding eye contact, he extended one hand out to the side, and a distortion warped the fabric of space. In a swirl of green fire, a circular portal materialized out of thin air. Through it, on the other side, appeared to be a New York City alley.

Wide-eyed, you gaped at it. _Home._ It was right there, only a few steps away! You tentatively moved closer to it, hoping it wasn't just a trick. Pausing, you looked back at Loki to check, all anger gone.

He waved you on with faux impatience. "Well? Go on then, if you want to go back so badly," he insisted exaggeratedly.

_What?_ you thought, incredulous, _Does he think I won't?_

And then, in a moment of clarity, you understood. This was a choice between staying with Loki, and going home.

Loki thought you would choose him.

Your heart wrenched, feeling sorry for him. Because even after everything that had happened, in spite of everything Loki had done, you did love him. Even so, you didn't even need to think to know that you would rather choose to go home. You could only hope it wouldn't break him.

Steadying yourself and your resolve, you calmly walked back to face Loki. Seeing this, Loki smirked triumphantly. His mirth didn't last.

"Loki," you started apologetically, "I'm sorry."

His grin already began to fall.

"I... I do feel like I could grow to care for you the way you want me to. There's even a part of me that wants to stay with you." Pausing, you looked around at the forest helplessly. "But not like this," you went on, shaking your head.

Silenced with anguished shock, Loki could only watch as his not-so-clever plan unraveled before his eyes. He no longer looked smug and confident. Now his wide, scared eyes begged you to stop. His expression was so raw and vulnerable, it hurt to look at, but you forced yourself to keep talking. You refused to change your mind.

"You've got a lot of things to work out with yourself. Things that I can't help you with," you continued as your eyes filled with traitorous tears, "But you have so much potential. I know you can be good if you'd only let yourself be!" Taking a moment, you cleared your throat and wiped your eyes clean. "Until then, I can't stay with you," you concluded steadily, "Even if that means... I'll never see you again."

Still in a panicked state of shock, Loki could only watch as you drew closer to place a soft, much-too-short kiss to his lips. Then, before he could do or say anything, you were pulling away, letting go of his hands, turning your back, walking to the portal. Too quickly for his frenzied mind.

Stepping through the portal from soft forest floor to hard concrete, you arrived back on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Loki miscalculated... :(
> 
> My original idea was to stay with Loki, but that felt gross. I just couldn't force myself to write that version when I really thought about it. In the interest of giving Reader (and myself, since this was originally a self-insert) more agency, I had to make them part ways. For now, at least. Sorry, Loki, but this wasn't going to be a healthy relationship otherwise.
> 
> And also sorry to you, dear Readers! Hang in there!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take only a few steps back on Earth before you're found by a couple of the Avengers. Luckily (unluckily?), they recognize you.

The portal closed behind you, and you didn't look back. You did still feel bad for Loki and for leaving him behind, but you also knew he shouldn't have taken you away in the first place.

But never mind that: you were home! A whiff of New York City air blew in your face. Your nose wrinkled in disgust. Yep, definitely New York... Now where had Loki put you? Hopefully, not far from your apartment. With no money on you, you couldn't get a bus, or a taxi, or the subway...

Shaking your head, you scolded yourself. No point in worrying over that yet if you didn't even know where exactly you were. Trying to get your bearings, you headed for the alley's entrance, knowing that from there you'd be able to see street signs, and maybe even landmarks.

You didn't make it there before you heard the sounds of approaching repulsors and distant thunder. Sounds familiar to any New Yorker as indicative of...

"Oh no..." you groaned, rubbing a hand over your face, "Not the Avengers..."

Iron Man swooped down into the alley, soon followed by Thor landing beside his comrade. Iron Man's repulsors were already aimed in your direction, so you were quick to put your hands up, though you did it with a frustrated grimace on your face.

Seeing you, a flash of recognition showed in Thor's eyes. "Stark," he warned.

"Don't move," Iron Man rattled off in his metallic voice, apparently not paying attention to Thor, "Keep your hands where I can see..." He trailed off as he fully realized what he was seeing.

Tentatively, you waved at him with one of your hands which were still in the air in front of you.

"You?" Iron Man questioned, bewildered. He lowered his repulsors then, so you felt it was safe to put your own hands down as well. To someone else, Iron Man answered some unheard question. "No. But we found a missing person." His helmet flipped open, revealing the one and only Tony Stark inside. "You wouldn't happen to know where we might find a weird energy signature around here, would you?" he asked, as if asking where the ice cream was located in a supermarket.

"Uh..." you replied intelligently, trying to keep up, "You... you mean the portal?"

"You saw a portal?"

"I came through it."

Stark stared at you. " _You_ came through a portal?" he repeated, seeming to really take in your state for the first time, "Where have you been, anyway?"

"Um..." you said again, this time stalling for time. Should you tell them the truth? That Loki had been the one to take you to a different realm against your will? You didn't want to get him in even more trouble, or divulge where he was. Silently, you cursed him for putting you in this position, but all the same, you really didn't want him to be caught. You'd truly meant everything you'd told Loki. He could be good, if he'd take the time to figure himself out. But he couldn't figure anything out if he was caught and killed. You wanted to give him an honest chance. So at last, you answered, "I'm... not sure."

Now Thor was watching you, his electric blue eyes boring into you. He had been inspecting the ground behind you, where a few leaves had followed you through the portal from Alfheim's forest, but now all his attention was focused on you. Suddenly, it was much harder to lie. Was it just because it was Thor and he had that effect on people? Or was it because you were lying about his brother? Guilt pooled in the pit of your stomach, but you pressed on anyway. "It wasn't New York," you concluded in a half-truth.

"What did it look like?" Thor spoke up then, his deep voice more assuring than you'd expected it to be.

"Oh, um... I was mostly wandering in a forest," you recalled slowly, trying not to say too much, "The water there was really clear, whenever I found any. Kinda made for a nice change."

There. That was a description, but not so much as to give anything away... Right?

"How did you get there in the first place?"

Ah, crap. That wasn't a safe question.

"I... I fell through a different portal," you lied.

Thor and Iron Man stared at you.

You felt your face heat, but you had to sell this lie somehow if you wanted to keep Loki out of (more) trouble. "Listen, I know it sounds stupid, but it's all I know!" you went on defensively, "One second, I was on my way into my apartment, and the next I was standing in a weird forest!"

Looking from you to his fellow Avenger, Stark raised his eyebrows. "Thor?" he prompted.

Thor was still watching you carefully, his expression calculating. You tried not to sweat under the pressure. "The Convergence is nearing," Thor said at last in reply to Stark's unasked query, "It's possible (Y/N) walked through an area where the spaces between realms were weaker."

You nearly sagged with relief to hear that your shoddy explanation might actually be plausibly believed. "Does that mean I can go home now?" you pleaded.

"Ha! Good one," Stark fake-laughed, "SHIELD is going to have a few more questions for you." He paused, then added as an afterthought, "Again."

Making a face, you groaned. "No... Can't the normal police help me out? Do I really have to get involved with SHIELD again?!" you asked in desperation.

"'Fraid so," Stark shrugged, "Come on."

You let out a long-suffering sigh, then dragged your feet after the two superheroes. Before long, you muttered, "Could I at least take a shower first?"

As it turned out, SHIELD did allow you to clean up before the questioning began. It was your only consolation until they finally let you go. After that, they at least helped ensure your apartment was safe to return to, and even cleared things up with your job so that you could continue work with minimal questions asked. At the end of it all, you considered that maybe secret organizations weren't so bad.

The feeling only lasted a moment.

Before SHIELD finally left you alone, the last agent out of your apartment (who'd introduced himself as Agent Coulson, and who seemed to be in charge) took a moment to talk with you. "Second incident within a year that you've been involved in," he commented, "Seems you don't have very good luck."

"Yeah, you could say that..." you laughed weakly, thinking of Loki.

With a small, bemused smile on his face, Coulson handed you a burner phone. "If you find yourself in another situation like this, give us a call," he told you, his expression serious as he added, "Emergencies only."

Accepting the phone, you looked down at it as Coulson spoke. Once he'd said his piece, you returned your eyes up to him with a grimace on your face. "Thanks," you said dryly, "No offense, but I sincerely hope I never see you again."

Agent Coulson's lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile that you'd seen from him. "Yeah," he replied, "We get that a lot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just pretend this is a universe where Loki attacked New York and the Avengers got together without Coulson needing to die, or even almost-die (thanks, Agents of SHIELD). In this universe, everyone is aware that Coulson is still alive, because there was no reason for them to think otherwise.
> 
> The epilogue is next, where we'll check back in on Loki and see how he's taking this! (Spoiler: not well.)


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that you've left, Loki considers what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of angst ahead. It's Loki's turn to cry now.
> 
> During this chapter, two characters have a conversation about you, so I chose to go with the pronouns 'they' or 'them' in the interest of keeping things as gender neutral as possible. If you like, you can mentally replace 'they/them' with your preferred pronouns.
> 
> Warning: Loki's got some suicidal thoughts running through his head in this chapter. Please keep that in mind and feel free to skip this one if you don't feel good about reading it. Rest assured that no harm comes to him by the end.

_(Y/N)'s gone... (Y/N)'s gone... (Y/N)'s gone... (Y/N)'s gone..._

Loki hadn't been able to move from the spot since you had left him alone. He had sunk down to the ground, his legs crumpled beneath him as he stared at the place where his portal had closed. Where you had disappeared.

You'd left him behind.

...Just like everyone else he'd thought loved him.

You had been the only one left, and you had left him. That was it, then. You'd confirmed that he was unlovable.

Up until that point, he'd been holding back all the pain, all the hurt he'd felt from before he'd fallen from the Bifrost. It had all been dammed up inside him behind an impenetrable wall: the betrayal, the lies, the loneliness, the defiance.

The wall he'd built crumbled.

Normally, Loki prided himself on keeping up a façade, an outer mask of apathy, no matter what anybody did to him or said about him. But there was nobody there to see him cry now.

Tears had been streaming down his face for some time now, as what he perceived as the truth really solidified in his mind: he was meant to be alone. Bowing his head, he clutched at his temples and moaned, "No, no, no..."

_A fitting fate for a monster._

Drops of rain slowly started to fall around him, turning into a steady shower, but Loki barely noticed. In a matter of moments, he was soaked through to the bone, but to him, that was only an afterthought.

He had been wrong to try to win over your heart. He had been wrong to even save his own life when he'd escaped Asgard's dungeon. The only thing he'd done right in the last few years was to attempt to take his own life. But he hadn't even succeeded at that.

_Why did I think I deserved to be loved when I don't even deserve to be alive?_

The words were not accompanied by the desire to do anything about it. A small mercy, he supposed, although the alternative was just sitting there in Alfheim's forest, waiting for it all to end.

A roll of thunder drew him slightly from his depressed mind.

Perhaps his demise was closer at hand than he'd expected. There was hope for him yet, then. Because this was no passing rain shower, he was sure. He knew that thunder as well as he knew his own heartbeat.

Thor Odinson had come to strike him down.

He hoped he'd get it over with quickly.

Still not bothering to look up, Loki heard the sound of wind rushing around an approaching body, then the heavy, wet thud of boots on the soggy ground in front of him.

"Loki."

He really wasn't going to make this easy, was he?

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered with the intensity of his not-quite-suppressed, self-loathing sobs. "Just kill me," he managed to force out through his teeth. It was so much worse to hear Thor's voice full of insufferable pity.

_Why doesn't he hate me?_

"Why were you toying with that Midgardian again?" Thor asked, his voice quiet, not condemning nor approving.

Loki really should have expected the betrayal, but it still stung. "They ran to tell you right away, did they?" he spat, his anger overpowering his self-loathing for just a moment.

Though he couldn't see it, Thor shook his head. "No," he said, "They didn't say anything about you at all. I believe they wanted to protect you."

At that, Loki finally raised his head to look at his brother. He suddenly felt his wet hair sticking to the sides of his face, the raindrops falling on his skin, his own tears intermingled with the rain. His eyes met Thor's and he didn't care that tears were in his eyes. He didn't care that he must look like an absolute mess.

Hoping that he'd gotten Loki's attention, Thor went on, "I don't know what you did, but you must have done something right to make them genuinely like you, Loki."

Did you like him? You'd still left him. Loki couldn't bring himself to believe his brother.

Thor took Loki's silence as the rejection it was. Now Thor's expression crumpled, taking Loki by surprise. "Please," Thor urged, "You don't deserve to die, Loki. Say something! Show some remorse for what you did to Earth, and I won't have to take you back to be killed." He paused, nearly looking like he was going to cry himself. "I don't want to send my brother to the executioner."

Curious, Loki thought, how both you and Thor seemed to have such faith in him, to believe that he wasn't the monster he knew himself to be. How in the worlds had you two become so deluded?

The brothers stared each other down in silence.

Just then, interrupting the moment, a sudden explosion rang out in the distant forest, followed by screaming. Distant the commotion may have been, but not far enough away to be beyond their notice.

Looking in the direction the noise was coming from, Thor's eyes narrowed, then he muttered, "Marauders." He seemed to think for a moment, then returned his attention to Loki, still motionless on the ground in front of him. Extending a hand to his brother, he asked, "Will you fight with me?"

Staring listlessly at Thor's hand waiting for him to accept, Loki considered the choice before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO YOU THINK LOKI WILL TAKE THOR'S OFFER???
> 
> Spoiler: He does! And that will lead to the third and final part of the Victory series! Between this part and the next, however, I wrote a sort of interlude. Some context, if you will, for the years that take place between this part and the next. It's just a one-shot, so I'll be posting that soon!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this far, everyone. I'm glad that other people are enjoying what is really just my daydreams that I wrote down for fun. (And yeah, I know, if THIS CHAPTER is what I call fun, what the hell is wrong with me? But hey, what's a story without drama?) Thanks so much for the kudos and the comments, and I hope that I can continue to hold up your expectations. See you in the next one!


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